Unfortunately my interactions with “Kyle” (https://unicorninbrooklyn.com/2014/04/19/first-date-a-bust-second-date-a-must/) were short lived. We communicated for exactly three weeks, but the frequent disagreements made it feel more like three months. The incessant arguments over trivial things led to the abrupt cessation in our communication. We haven’t spoken since last Thursday and I’d be a liar if I didn’t tell you that I wasn’t bothered.
I can’t help but wonder if that blossoming relationship could’ve been salvaged had we decided to be open and honest with each other from the beginning. Could we be on the road to greatness at this very moment or is he the “Best Thing I’ve Never Had” (#Beyonce)? I don’t know and I probably never; neither one of us will reach out to each other because we’re sagittarians, incredibly stubborn and prideful. No point in trying to figure that out, I’m onto the next.
After sharing the intricacies of my dealings with Kyle (with my girlfriends) and hoping for his sodomization with a sharp jiggidy jaggidy foreign rusty metal object from outer space that enters the earth’s atmosphere and freakishly crashes through the roof of his townhouse, into his bedroom and ultimately into his asshole as he sleeps on his stomach (I’m only serious), I came of the proverbial closet. I am a self-proclaimed lipstick lesbian!
Finding love is an exhausting numbers game that you play to win. I’ve decided to increase my odds by turning my attention from the opposite sex to the same sex. I’m on my hunger games shit because I want the “odds to forever be in my favor”. I’m optimistic that I’ll find myself in good company because quite a few females have converted to lesbianism due to their daunting experiences with the opposite sex.
Lesbi-honest (“…we drunk, remind us//are any of ya’ll into girls like i am lesbihonest…” – Drake, Every Girl) it’s hard to walk away from the caress of a man (and his penis) and into the arms of a woman with the same body parts that I have with a strap-on to pleasure me.
Am I sick of the games and headaches associated with the dating game? Absolutely! However, I don’t believe all men are the same. My love for the opposite sex keeps me going back and believing that I will meet the special one meant for me. There aren’t enough games, headaches or heartaches to convert me.
I talk a good one, I’m good right where I am. For now…
Until next time friends!