How Many Dates Does It Take?

How many dates does one have to go one before they know if the man (or woman) they’ve been dating is “the one”?  Should I too ask the cow, fox, turtle, and owl (as the little boy did when he went on a quest to find out many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop – remember that commercial?)  Now that I think of it, maybe I should be asking how many licks it takes for one to decide if they one they’re dating is “the one” –  ha!

So where was I, yes – I was trying to figure out how many dates it takes for you to figure out if you’re dating the one you’re destined to be with.  Last Friday was lucky #7 for Thai and I because it was our most anticipated date yet – date #7.  What made it so anticipated was the fact that it was an intimate one – I invited him to my place for a home cooked meal.  This may not be a big deal to most, but it is to me because I am not big on cooking meals for men (unless we’re in a committed relationship).

Before I get into the specifics of said date allow me to catch you up on dates 1 – 6:

Date #1 – Dinner at Beyond Thai &  hookah at Le Souk (read about it here –>

Date #2 – Habana Outpost & Brooklyn Moon Cafe – Thai & I went to Habana Outpost for free movie Sundays, drinks, and ended the night at Brooklyn Moon Cafe.  I talked about that eating experience here –>

Date #3Mo’s Bar & Fort Greene Park – We met at Mo’s on a Friday for happy hour and wound up staying until damn near midnight .  After drinks, food, and dancing we ended the night with a stroll through Fort Greene Park (I talked about that experience here –>

Date #4 – Bati Kitchen & Barclays – Thai & I feasted on Ethiopian cuisine at Bati Kitchen then he surprised me with tickets to see New Edition at the  Barclays (I talked about that experience here –>

Date #5 – South Street Seaport – I didn’t document this date because I didn’t get around to it so here’s a quick recap.  Thai requested my presence on  Tuesday evening – destination (anywhere near water).  After a little back and forth (we were torn between Brooklyn Bridge Park and South Street Seaport) we agreed on the latter.  I made my way to downtown Manhattan to meet Thai clad in a long “flowy” wrap skirt, sandals, and a fitted tank top.  We spent about six hours at the pier that night talking about everything from religion, past relationships, weird idiosyncrasies, pet peeves, to our respective childhoods.  You name it, it was pretty much discussed and enjoyed.

Date #6 – Asian Station – We hung out in the city last Tuesday after my interview.  He took me out for celebratory dinner and drinks to celebrate my new job (I was offered an HR generalist role with a firm in Midtown on the spot and graciously accepted).  We dined at a Japanese/Chinese eatery in midtown, Asian Station (, and ate tuna tartare (one of my favorites), rock’n shrimp with spicy mayo, mixed vegetables with shrimp and chicken (respectively) and shared a dessert – fried green tea ice cream.  To wash it all down we enjoyed the restaurant’s passion Mai Tai.

Tuna Tartare
Tuna Tartare – Not for the faint of heart.  This dish is definitely an acquired taste
Fried Green Tea Ice Cream
Fried Green Tea Ice Cream

Date # 6 ended with a train ride together – he got off the M train at 14th street to catch the train to his home and I continued on the train to Myrtle Avenue.  Before his departure we shared our first somewhat sensual kiss.  While still a peck, it had more feeling behind it.

With things going as well as they were I felt that it was only right to do something nice for him for our 7th date so I invited him to my humble abode for dinner, drinks, and hookah.

The menu consisted of an entree and dessert; I prepared curried shrimp with onions and green peppers, basmati rice (aromatic Indian rice), sauteed kale (I chopped the kale and sauteed it in olive oil with yellow onions and sea salt), and sweetened carrots (I boiled the carrots then drained the water.  I then cooked the carrots in a brown sugar sauce to lightly sweeten them).  I had every intention of buying samosas from Trader Joe’s and popping them into the oven and serving them as appetizers, but I never got around to it.  No biggie, I served him homemade sangria (I combined Berringer’s white Merlot, Yellowtail Sauvignon Blanc, sprite, and fruit – cubed peaches, strawberries, and orange slices) as a starter.  For dessert we had apple pie a la mode (Mrs. Smith dutch apple pie &  Haagen-Dazs vanilla ice cream).

I wanted to keep the mood light yet sexy so I burned one of my favorite oils, lit a few scented candles, played a mellow playlist that consisted of r&b and jazz music, and wore an airy navy blue maxi dress.

Before serving the meal I suggested that we smoke (apple flavored) hookah while sipping sangria and chatting by my eating area (in between my two living room windows).

Seating area in my apartment
Eating area in my living room where we sipped sangria and smoked hookah

  The conversation was effortless (as usual); there was an abundance of laughter and smiles shared throughout the exchange.

After about two hours or so I became hungry so I warmed the dinner up and served us.  The meal and sangria were well received as I was repeatedly told how good everything was.  I’d say the highlight of the evening was when we had our own little The Cosby Show moment – you know, one of the many times “Cliff” and “Claire ” danced in their living room to jazz music.  Unlike Bill Cosby in the clip below Thai can actually dance.

All and all the night went progressively well.  We didn’t take it “there” on date #7 and I was okay with that.

At this point I’m feeling a bit anxious because I’m excited to feel that “magic moment” that most girls feel when they’ve met “the one”.  Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy his company, but there’s something missing.  I wonder if I should heed the advice of my girlfriend, “Stop looking for Mr. Right and to just enjoy Mr. Right Now”.  What do you think?  It’s a thought, after all what do I have to lose, right?

Let’s see what date #8 has in store…


Until next time friends!

~ Pennie Penz




2 thoughts on “How Many Dates Does It Take?

  1. Keep up the good work. Your doing better than most women. Keep in mind theres not man or women walking the planet without faults. View him as Mr. Right Now sooner or later you would know if he is Mr Right For You.

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