When Your Spidey Senses Tingle Should You Heed the Warning?

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He dropped the bomb on me and I don’t mean a Flower Bomb (one of my favorite scents by Victor & Rolf), I mean a bomb that changed everything. Thai isn’t who he appears to be and my spidey senses are tingling like a mug!  His secrecy has forced me to formulate my own conclusions.

Here’s the deal:  I’ve been dating him since June I’ve yet to see his place, but he’s been to my brownstone at least five times.  When I asked about his place, he didn’t necessarily tell me that he had his own place, but he didn’t tell me that he didn’t either.  When he told me (about a 1.5 into us dating) that he didn’t have his own place, I didn’t trip.  I don’t know his finances, so I didn’t stress it.  He explained that he was rooming with a friend so as to pay off a large amount of debt.  Cool, again, I don’t know his finances.  Things started to get fishy for me when I asked to at least SEE his place.  That’s when things became even more peculiar to me.  As Phaedra ( my favorite Atlanta Housewife) would say….

I get it.  He’s already explained to me that he rooms with someone.  I don’t necessarily like it, but I was presented with this information under the impression that this was temporary (he’s told me that he plans to leave next year, January to be exact).  Cool, now let me see your damn place!  When I became insistent about it I noticed a change in his demeanor – it was as if he almost became upset with my questioning.  Ummmm, what does this grown man expect?  Grown women with their OWN apartments wants to see how the men they’re dating are living!  It doesn’t have to be luxurious – that’s where we come in.  We buy all kinds of girlie shit (new sheets with thread counts higher than the cheap ass 120 he may have on his bed, wine glasses, oven mitts, etc.) to make it more comfortable for us and to leave our touch on the place.

At this point I have been forced to think all kinds of outlandish things: Is the roommate that he lives with his wife? Does this man have children? If he’s not a family man, does he actually live in a house or is he couch surfing?  Oh God, does this man live in a shelter?

Now that I think of it, does he actually work in the line of work that he told me that he does?  He told me that he’s an attorney and I accepted that, but maybe I shouldn’t have.

I remember him asking me to meet him at his job a few months ago for dinner.  I was familiar with the building because I interviewed for a position several years back with a research firm (Cornerstone Research).  Here’s where ish gets mad sus….   A few weeks after that dinner date I asked him for the name of his firm and office number to send him a “singing telegram”.  The singing telegram was a guise – I really wanted to surprise him with a box of chocolate covered strawberries and needed his work information.  To this day I have yet to get that information – despite asking for it at least three times.  After I explaining that I wasn’t actually going to send him a singing telegram you would think that he’d be forthcoming right? Wrong.

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Here I am with my thoughts going crazy again.  He’s gone from being a lawyer, to a paralegal, to a mailroom dude. Something is off y’all. I can’t put my finger on it, but I feel it in my gut and I’m mad uneasy son.

So here in lies the problem.  At what point does potential outweigh a person not meeting your non-negotiables (one of my non-negotiables includes my love interest having their own place.  I have my own, I want my companion to have their own period)?

Potential is that lil deceitful BITCH that strings you along and leads you to believe the destination will be worth the long ride, but in reality when you get to the final destination it was never what you expected.  I’ve rode the potential rollercoaster before and it wasn’t fun.  It left me wanting more in the past and I really don’t feel like getting on that ride.

Instead of being drastic and cutting him off I have decided to fall back substantially.  I still enjoy Thai’s company and he’s been a complete gentleman to me so I have no need to cut him off abruptly because I have no proof that my suspicions are true.  What I plan to do is to stop all sleepovers at my place until I see his “humble abode”.  Am I wrong for this?  I want to hear your opinions on this because I am buggin’ and my mind is going further and further down the rabbit hole….

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Until Next Time Friends!

~ PenniePenz

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7 thoughts on “When Your Spidey Senses Tingle Should You Heed the Warning?

    1. Thanks girl! You’re right. I have to play it smart before I get in too deep and find myself high (in the clouds in love), but dry – because I didn’t ultimately get what I wanted from the start – clarity and transparency (amongst other things).

  1. Put that on PAUSE….our intuition is our best asset as women. The worst thing to did out that the person lied to you all this time after investing time and energy.
    Wait and see if he opens up his home and allow you to know his work building number and the name of his firm lol

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