“It’s hard to see the rainbow when you’re standing in the middle of a rainstorm.” – Phaedra Parks
I’ve gone on about fifty-leven’ (50-11: an arbitrary number that people in my community use to describe a number that encompasses “one too many times”) interviews in the last two months and I haven’t landed a job yet. You would think that I’m walking into these companies dressed in my most rachet attire looking something like this:
and interviewing the way Iggy Azalea raps (in fluent gibberish):
But I’m not. I interview well, exceptionally well. For Christ’s sake, I used to conduct training sessions on the proper way to interview! Despite all my hours of training others, I’ve yet to land a job.
It’s raining, no, it’s fucking pouring problem after problem in my life and I don’t have an umbrella or galoshes. I feel defeated, frustrated, and disheartened, but I’m thankful. I’ve depleted my savings from months of not working, but I’m thankful. My skin is bugging out and I look like a teenager going through puberty (stress is a bitch), but I’m thankful. I recently starting forming hard pimples on my body (that hurt like hell), but I’m thankful. Sounds crazy right? Why the hell would anyone be thankful when they’re pretty much down & out on their luck and in the middle of a shit storm?
I’m thankful because I’m being tested. Patience is a virtue that I’ve struggled to get my hands on pretty much all of my life, but have yet to do so. I want everything yesterday, but this hasty approach to life has clearly not been working for me. I have been forced to practice not only patience, but resiliency and persistence as I go on interview after interview with hopes of being hired. I’ve been forced to practice patience while waiting for the life partner that I’m destined to be with. I’m forced to practice patience as I wait for my skin to heal. Over the past few months I’ve been forced to see that I can control but so much – I have no choice BUT to be patient and let the Higher Power do what he sees fit to do in my life.
I’m thankful because I’m being challenged. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to leave my current line of work, Human Resources (HR). While HR is a great field to be in, it doesn’t allow much room for expressing one’s creative side – namely MY creative side. The fact that I have yet to land a job despite interviewing for several months is something new to me. I’m not used to rejection, but here I am dealing with it.
I cannot help but feel that divine intervention has stepped in, forcing me to see that I am not meant to be where I have been persistently trying to go work wise. I’ve been asking Him for a drastic life-changing experience for quite some time now, but had no idea what it is that I wanted – I just knew that I wanted a change.
I’m thankful that I’m being challenged to step outside my comfort zone and to do something that I’ve been too afraid to do – leave my current line of work and experience life in a different and unfamiliar environment. I have no clue what life will be like outside of that zone, but I am becoming more and more comfortable with the idea of something completely unfamiliar to me.
If I were not experiencing the aforementioned hardships chances are I’d do what most people do – accept life the way it is; stay at a job that leaves me unfulfilled & live for the weekend as a means of short-term escape, stay in a dead-end relationship for the sake of not being single (and lonely), and/or ignore my passion(s) in life and not live out my dream(s).
Are you guilty of this? Have you accepted your life and become complacent? If so, you’re not alone. We often downplay our dreams and rationalize them because somewhere along the line we began telling ourselves that our dreams are “too” big and “too” unrealistic. Sometimes it takes a random and cathartic rainstorm to come along, shake things up, and change our entire perspective on our lives.
We often curse rainy days because we think we’re unprepared – we don’t want to get wet and caught out there, but in reality it may be just what we need. Hell, it’s what I needed.
Instead of dreading these days we need to be thankful for them. They wash away complacency. They wash away comfort zones. They wash away the acceptance of things that we know are no good for our spirits. Be thankful for the rainy days because they’ll make you appreciate the sunny ones even more.
Until Next Time Friends,